Christmas story 2014

The chosen moment

For all lovers separated during the holidays.

It was a great feeling to finally be free of humanity and back among the Gods. Nemesis stretched her body, she was back to the age of seventeen, and that felt good. She could no longer breathe the air or feel the taste of the human world but her powers were back. She let the scythe dance between her fingers. It moved with ease. This is her weapon of choice and her best companion.  In her mind a girl doesn’t need a man to acknowledge her existence, the only thing she needs is her own power. Her eyes glisten blood red and the urge to hunt was reawakened. All around her ordinary people walk by. Filled up with their own shame and fear. She does not care. The only thing she can see is their sexual deviancy. She is looking for a prey. Among those ordinary people, there are sexual predators, one of whom will meet her needs. The never ending stream of violence and abuse still sickens her. This is her task.

The man is on his knees. Nemesis has her booted foot on his left shoulder. He has no means of escape. Still he fights to get loose, as they tend to do. During his wriggling struggle his phone falls out of his pocket, and lands just beyond his reach. She sneers. Raises the scythe slowly, wham, she’s dipped the tip of her scythe through the phones delicate screen glass. The move was so swift he didn’t even react to it. Sweat starts dripping down his forehead and he gives up the futile struggle.

No man ever thought that this little girl could be a Goddess, let alone strong as one. His superior laughter had stopped when she had swung his body round like it was a leaf in the wind. When she now stands above him, with scythe in her right hand, he had but one strategy left, mockery.

– What do you want?! A mercy fuck? Women like you never get any. No wonder you’re alone on Christmas Eve, who’d ever touch a filthy slag like you?

– …

Nemesis did not answer him. From afar she could hear church bells ringing, calling her past. The man looked up at his captor certain that his words would have made her mild. He was met by a horribly determined grin of pleasure. Scythe half raised…

It was Christmas Eve. Many years ago, I cannot even remember the year now. It was before I died, back home. Lunae was always the star-shine at our Christmas parties. And I was nothing. But that Christmas I felt like I didn’t belong at home anymore. No one noticed me or they just took me for granted. They did not make special food for me nor did they ask how I wanted the Christmas tree to look. They had Lunae for that. And it didn’t bother me at all before I met him. Suddenly everything in my life seemed unfair and unloved. My parents had forbidden me to see him ever again after the scandal, first the garden incident and then the escaping my uncle’s perverted clutches. And all I wanted in this world was to see him one more time, right now.

I had almost forgotten that rotten business with uncle and that worm of a son of his, until they came over for tonight’s feast. The anger blossomed anew. I could not believe my parents invited them to our place. As if invisibility wasn’t punishment enough. I decided to leave home, but I also think that was the day I left Ada behind. I simply put on some warm clothes and walked out. None of the others seemed bothered. Still I dared not take the carriage or a horse, so I walked for a long while before a nice old man stopped and asked if I was bound for the City. He was a pleasant old man and we soon found companionship in each other. He never asked why, he just drove me all the way to Park Lane. We parted with a Merry Christmas. The first I had ever had without a forced look. This was a genuine cheer that actually made me feel warm inside. This was the right thing, even though all my morals and social etiquette told me it was not.

I hesitated to ring the bell. He was probably not at home anyway. I guessed the Mardling family had their Christmas dinner parties as well. I had travelled all this way for nothing. I was about to return back home when the door opened up. It was Ida, she had a wreath in her hands and she jumped when she saw me standing outside the house.

– Miss Cooper, you scared me.

– I am sorry Ida. I…

– Come in, its icy cold outside. I have some hot glühwein. The master is in the drawing room trying to decorate the tree for tomorrow. Maybe you can lend him a hand. Miss Cooper’s artistic touch is well remembered.

Ida smiled at me as she used to when I was little and had done some mischief that she had to scold me for but was not really angry about. It was a special smile. Something warm and familiar in the cold.

Inside it was warm and the house was richly decorated. Much more than the Cooper family ever had dared to have. I was unsure whether I’d be a welcomed guest or not. I could see through the opened door how he was trying his best to decorate a rather magnificent tree. He dropped something on the floor and the impulse to laugh at his awkward clumsiness took hold of me and suddenly a sound escaped my lips and I tried to kill it with my hands. Too late, he had heard me and he was walking towards the door. I tried to move but my feet wouldn’t obey.

– Do not laugh at your poor Master Ida. Oh, it’s you…

He looked at me, awkwardly, he didn’t blush but he was obviously uncomfortable with it being me. I needed to say something but I couldn’t find anything good to say. For the first time my mind was blank.

– That tree is very majestic.

What a stupid thing to say! I blushed at the embarrassment of that obvious remark. He turned around and watched the tree with amazement in his eyes like he had not seen it before now.

– Why are you both standing here? Come on let’s get some of that glühwein for Miss Cooper and she might help you finish that thing for tomorrow. You know the whole family is coming here for Christmas day. All those children will be so disappointed if you have not finished it for them. I’m sure Miss Cooper will lend you a hand as well.

Jack turns to me, smiling, he never really smiled before.

– Will Miss Cooper help me?

– I can, if you’d like. I… I mean I can try. I have never…

– Come on then.

He handed me a little paper decoration, obviously done for or by a child. I followed him to the tree, it was really beautiful, I stood there staring at it. I felt his eyes on me.

– Anything the matter Ada?

– No, I… have never…decorated a Christmas tree. I mean… I have hung some with my sister.

– But you never get to decorate it? Well this is my tree, and I’m afraid Ida is right I’m completely useless. Look at this. Things falling off and what not. Please, I know you can make it pretty for me. I will help, but you’ll tell me what to put where.

– I’m not certain I can.

– I know you can.

He meant it. He let me style it and it was surprisingly easy to do with someone that wanted you to. It turned out rather pretty in the end. He stood for a long time watching it, seemingly very pleased. After that we sat down and the awkward silence was yet upon us. Each of us afraid of saying the wrong thing. There were many questions on my mind and I suppose there must have been some on his too. There was a gleam in his eye I did not understand then, that I later recall as desire and longing. I didn’t understand why he could not talk to me? He did not talk much but he never seemed to me to lack words for others, as a medical man he was used to talking. But he never really talked to me. I felt uncomfortable and I had been away from home a while now. They might come looking, and I didn’t want to get him into trouble. So I thought it best to leave.

– I think I better go back home. Thank you for the wine.

I got up and he remained in his chair almost not acknowledging that I had spoken. I turned around and walked out to ring for Ida and my coat, when I suddenly felt something by my hand. I stopped as I felt his hand embracing mine. I dared not turn around but froze in my step. I had no desire to leave, but I was too scared to do anything. He walked up beside me but I didn’t dare to look at him. Heart racing and pain all over, it had come on suddenly. We stood in the room as strangers even though we really were not, never had been. I had told him I didn’t remember him from when I was a child. It was a lie. How could I ever forget him? How could I ever tell him I had already adored him back then? As a child I used to be late home just to see him come back from town in the summer. As a teenager I didn’t get to see him anymore because he started working. I saw him once, but he ignored me all that evening and my heart sunk deep. I hid all my feelings until that fateful dinner party and that walk in the garden. When I saw him arrive that day, I could no longer hide those feelings, I followed him, I heard them mock his name and I felt his pain. I wanted to protect him and hold him close.

Now I actually stood by his side. I was too frightened to act. I had come face to face with my dream. I tried to move closer but I could not move. I just held on to his hand. And let him pull me closer and slowly turn me around to face him. I was so close to him I could just have raised my hand but I didn’t. He let go of my hand and the fear that he was leaving me gave my body a shock and I shivered as if in pain. He took the gentlest hold of my head and held me in his arms, close to his chest. I have never since felt as loved and safe as I did then. Silent tears fell down my cheeks because I was happy. That gesture of his set me free from doubt and the cold wall I had built around myself. I don’t know how long I stood embracing him but I had wished it was forever. Many are those that write or sing of the high love above earthly desire. Never did I think you could be higher than the Gods above, but on this day, I was.

I felt the goodness of his heart and the breath of his passion. And as he let me go I dared to quickly kiss his neck. Finally I looked into those blue eyes, and they were sparkling in a way I have never seen before. I have no doubt he loved me. And I had loved him since as far as I could remember. When our lips finally met, it was nothing close to what I expected. I can still taste his lips on mine when I close my eyes. But forever is only in fairy tales. Too soon the moment is gone. This was the only one Jack and I got. I became his Nemesis, but I was never again to hold him as mine. I had that moment on Christmas Eve beside that shining tree. If only people were not so cruel. I wished that we could have had our forever, together. I still wish it every Christmas Eve.

To hold his hand in mine was all I ever wanted. To rest my head on his chest was more magic than all glory of heavenly promises. If only I had died then. Our love was forever. I did see him after death and I could have released him from all of his pain. But would he ever have looked at me with those same eyes of pure love? I was a monster, a victim, and Vengeance. He was better off without me, or so I thought. I couldn’t bring myself to kill him either. I know he became the Ripper. I saw how his pain drove him into madness. I saw what he did, and he did it because of me. Because our love was ruined. He lost his life when I lost mine. I carry no shame. I was given the choice of keeping one vivid memory as a human to carry on with me eternally. I choose that, our moment.

Nemesis smiled with love at her memory, swung the scythe up high and then down, the man’s head came clean off. Blood squirted for a bit. Not a single drop landed on her neat black dress. She watched the body sink. She thought nothing of it.

On the opposite street stands a ragged man. He seems to be in some sort of a ruined period costume. There must be some kind of masquerade somewhere this Christmas Eve. He is watching Nemesis with clear blue eyes. He sees her kill, but he does not flinch. The only sign of life is in his face, there is a sparkle of love in his eyes. Forever, dear Nemesis, is a very long time. And some Christmas wishes do come true.

 

Happy Holidays everyone!